Let me give y’all a run down of my life the past month or so. Started when I thought my antidepressant stopped working because I was starting to see the beginning signs of the depression whirlwind about to sweep through my life. As those crippling symptoms of depression continued to infiltrate my life, I began forgetting to my antidepressant on a regular basis. Cue one of the worst depression episodes I’ve had in over a year. I did what I’ve been told to do and scheduled an appointment with my behavioral health provider. I felt scared and defeated. If this antidepressant has failed out of the blue, I don’t know what the next possible move could be.
See, I’ve tried a few antidepressants on the past with no luck. Every time I try something new, I dread the reactions I’ll have. I’ve been told time and time again, “Wow, you’re really sensitive to medication! I don’t really hear of people having that type of reaction.” Like, okay? That’s really comforting, thanks. 🙃 The first medication I was prescribed was Lexapro when I was 15. I took it for a few months, but I constantly felt like a zombie. Foggy mind. Couldn’t concentrate to save my life. No emotions. I was never happy, yet I was never sad. I never felt anything, but nothing at all. I hated and told my mom one morning that I would never take another Lexapro. My psychiatrist was not happy I stopped cold turkey.
Anyways, the psychiatrist suggested trying Prozac next. Surprise, surprise I had the same reaction to Prozac as I did to the Lexapro and quit the Prozac cold turkey as well. Then the psychiatrist prescribed trazodone to treat my depression and nightmares simultaneously. This medication was by far the worst medication I’ve tried yet. It did not treat my nightmares or depression, it only made it impossible for me to wake up in the middle of nightmare. I was trapped in my nightmares, knowing it was a nightmare, and being unable to escape. It was HORRIBLE. So I vowed to never take another antidepressant.
Well last year my depression was so bad that I was becoming a danger to myself and reluctantly agreed to try medication again since talk therapy was not helping as much as I needed it to. I was prescribed Wellbutrin and I have loved it from the first day I started taking it. It works well with no unbearable side effects. WIN. So to think that the Wellbutrin may no longer be working was a thought I could barely handle. I was so scared to play medication roulette again, but my behavioral health provider suggested just adding another medication to my Wellbutrin. I was hesitant, but agreed since I would still have my Wellbutrin. I was prescribed Viibryd and started the titration immediately after my appointment.
The following week was hell. I did not react well to the Viibryd after only taking it for 3 days. I would be up al night long, tired, but restless. I had restless legs syndrome to the point I was crying in discomfort. During the day I felt like I had chugged 10 energy drinks and was vibrating with energy. I couldn’t stop moving and doing stuff even when my body was screaming at me to stop. I would be so sore, but so restless. These effects lingered for a whole week and I was constantly crying over the discomfort I was experiencing.
Well, during one restless night, I had plenty of time to think and I thought back to when I first noticed the Wellbutrin not working as well as it used to. The first time I really noticed it was back in October. I would be bouts of mild depression and just chalked it up to being PMS. Over the months, the bouts of depression were getting worse and more frequent. And that’s when it hit me. I had the hormonal IUD inserted mid-September. The following day, I immediately made an appointment to have it removed and was scheduled in for last Friday.
I never reacted well to birth control pills and I was promised by my OB that the hormones from the mirena would stay localized to my uterus and there was a slim chance I’d have any side effects. Let me tell ya, this was SO WRONG. I guess the OB didn’t believe me that I am incredibly sensitive to medication and hormones. This little devil contraption was supposed to treat my heavy and painful periods. Which it did eliminate my flow all together, but the cramps, bloating, and migraines worsened – not to mention I’m certain it made my depression and anxiety significantly worse.
I’ve only had the IUD our for a few days, but I’ve been on a roller coaster since it’s removal. Cramping, bloating, migraines, and extremely emotional. My anxiety is through the roof and I cried myself to sleep last night. I’m hoping to ride this out and return to my “normal” (we all know I’m far from normal lol 😂) self. I just need my hormones to even out and I think I’ll be okay. I’ll keep y’all updated. ❤️
Please remember this is only my personal experience – medication affects everyone differently. I am not a medical professional and none of the content on this blog is intended to be used as medical advice. Please contact your medical provider for any questions or concerns regarding your health and/or medication.
My Sincere Ramblings 